"PRINCESS MONONOKE"

Princess Mononoke
My opinion of this movie is absolutely irrelevant.

Imagine a headbanging heavy metal fan reviewing the latest Neil Diamond CD. Pointless, right? That's what this review is like to me. My opinion shouldn't count. This movie was not meant for me.

I have several very good friends who are totally into anime (Japanese animation). For years, they've been trying to get me into it, but it's never worked. I'm simply not interested in it. So why the hell would I spend good money to see an anime feature film? Curiosity. Though I HATE it when foreign language films are dubbed (I much prefer that foreign language films be subtitled), I was intrigued that the English translation was written by Neil Gaiman, probably one of the best writers on the planet (he wrote the award-winning comic book series "Sandman," for DC Comics' Vertigo line, as well as two mini-series spin-offs that feature "Death," the sister of "Sandman"... he also wrote the very well-received novel, "Neverwhere"). Unfortunately, there was nothing in the movie that was very Gaiman-like. However, I WILL say that the translation was very good. Syllables matched very well, almost making it seem like the animated characters originally spoke in English.

The voices used in the film are by some pretty famous people. Minnie Driver, Billy Cruddup, Claire Danes (I really like her), Billy Bob Thornton, Jada Pinkett, and Gillian Anderson (anyone see the New Year's/Millennium episode of "The X Files" where "Mulder" and "Skully" actually kiss?). They all did a good job, but my favorite of those celebrities, Claire Danes, was probably the least effective. As much as I love Claire's belly (please forgive me for mentioning my odd, yet tame fetish), her voice didn't seem to match the tough, lion-hearted character she did the voice for.

"Princess Mononoke" was written and directed by Hayao Miyazaki, a very well-respected guy in Japan. My anime-loving friends tell me that most of his work is very environmentalist tree-hugging stuff. I never heard of any of his prior work, but apparently, he did a famous movie called "Kiki's Delivery Service."

What else can I say? I was bored to tears from beginning to end. This movie damn near put me to sleep, but again, I don't like anime. If you like anime, you'll probably love this movie. As a matter of fact, the guys I know who are into anime think that the movie is a masterpiece.

My friends are still trying to find anime I'd like. They recently suggested "Ghost in the Shell," "Akira," and "Battle Angel." They claim that since those movies are more dark and edgy, it's closer to my style. If I end up seeing 'em, I'll letcha know what I think.

Scale of 1-10: 2

Do you wanna read a REAL review of this movie from a true authority on anime? Check out the review of "Princess Mononoke" from my good friend Tom Price. This is from his "AnimeLink" web site.

Wanna bitch to me about my review? Perhaps you wanna let me know that my reviews are the most accurate in existence (well, they ARE!). Either way, E-Mail me to gimmie your thoughts.
filmgeek@mindspring.com

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